sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
