When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
