just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
