he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well you can't waste a boner
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
