Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?

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(254): View more from Texas

I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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(360): View more from Washington

I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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(810): View more from Michigan

i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors

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(805): View more from California

Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Everything hurts.

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(561): View more from Florida

We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.

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