The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
