it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
