with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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