I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
