guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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