look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
