this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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