babies were throwing up all over the place
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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