i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
