I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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