it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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