You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
