So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize