dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
