yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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