Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
