i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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