Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
