that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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