I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
