glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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