Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize