I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
