so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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