Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Soap is not a condiment
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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