I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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