Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
