mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
operation have a gay friend backfired
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
