she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
