david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
