How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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