so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
