there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
