So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
