I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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