Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
