I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
