You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
