My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
