so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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