youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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