2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
