i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
