Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
