the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
