She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
