You're completely useless in the revolution.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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