u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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