I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
