Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
