We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize