omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
