Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize