new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
this is an emotional support booty call
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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