Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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