As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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