it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
