Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
