you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize