Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize