if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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