Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
