porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
