Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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