Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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