Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
