she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
