My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
