in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
